Where’s the peanut butter?!

Last week as time relentlessly marched on, I asked Moshe “What will it
be like, old man? What will happen to me tomorrow?” “First,” he told
me, “your body will start to fail you.”

I thought he was joking. I was sure that at least if he were serious
I had a week to get some ya-ya’s out. Then tonight something
inexplicable happened. Right around “you ain’t happy unless you got
one” cranked to 11 in my headphones and me thinking “…maybe in my
log I should record when I last ate?” I fell while running. This has
never happened before. I’ve never run a marathon but I have been
running off and on for the last 15 years of my life - now that I hit
the halfway point, now is when I fall?

It feels like I’m only a short walk away from gray hairs, black
balloons, and actually having to pay attention to Medicare. And more
bodily failure. What will be next? It’s cool comfort that my nose
and ears will keep on growing. And then I’ll find myself with a leaky
banana - or will it only be a leaky banana moistening my trousers and
I still have some time to go?

In the meantime I’ve got a great wife and a great bunch of friends who
pulled together for some totally enthusiastic karaoke last weekend. I
ought to write an apology to the KJ from the bar for jumping up on
stage during his song at the end of the night last weekend — but what
could I do? I heed the call of “Fat” Bob Smith — he was howling for
me to scream into the mic and my body still had 4 days to go.