Ex-Lion Tamers postmortem
If I haven’t mentioned this, I captained a mini-golf team this
summer. We were named
Ex-Lion Tamers (a reference to what’s turned out to be a pretty
obscure song by
that you can
and this summer I’ve added another cherished memory to my list of
teams I’ve helped lead into miserable defeat. Like The Hedgehogs, The
Crack Sheriffs, and The Knockers (the last three sports teams I’ve
been on), we finished last. But this time I’m ready to sit down and
look at some of the numbers to try to figure out “Jesus, what went
wrong this time?” Let’s see where the
exercise goes…
| Overall Standings |
Team | Week 1 Standard |
Week 2 Moneyball |
Week 3 Costumes |
Week 4 Best Ball |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | We’re In Your Hole | 177 | 94 | 191 | 78 |
| 2 | Indy #3 | 204 | 126 | 181 | 82 |
| 3 | Pint-Sized Putters | 194 | 146 | 191 | 79 |
| 4 | Par-Tee Putters (Indy #1) | 207 | 118 | 210 | 86 |
| 5 | Slooper De Lux | 199 | 158 | 200 | 82 |
| 6 | Grumpy Stew | 196 | 156 | 199 | 89 |
| 7 | Kitten Killers | 210 | 146 | 207 | 82 |
| 8 | Chico’s Bail Bonds | 227 | 150 | 219 | 87 |
| 9 | Indy #2 | 246 | 132 | 237 | 77 |
| 10 | Ex-Lion Tamers | 228 | 174 | 215 | 82 |
Figure 1. Drinks on the Links League 4 (DOTLL4) Overall Standings
Problem definition: Referring to Figure 1. DOTLL4 Overall
Standings the problem to address is clear - we lost. [Possible
future research topic - had there been 11 teams, might we have still
placed 10th and not won but not come in last??] [
Figure 2. DOTLL4 Overall Standings
Slight trends Based on Figure 2, DOTLL4 Overall
Standings we see some disconcerting, but subtle, trends. The
Ex-Lion Tamers appear toward the back of the pack (top, graphically),
but solidly within the pack over all weeks except week 2,
Moneyball. The weekly stroke delta by
which we trailed first helps make the progress through the league more
clear.
Figure 3. DOTLL4 Weekly Stroke Delta
Moneyball, part 1 Figure 3. DOTLL4 Weekly Stroke Delta calls
our attention to a startling inconsistency in the stroke delta trends. Weeks
1, 3, and 4 show all teams basically clustered together and the
Ex-Lion Tamers scoring close to last. But in week 2, Moneyball
we finished dead last. How damaging was this for the team?
Figure 4. DOTLL4 Running Stroke Delta
Moneyball, part 2 Figure 4. DOTLL4 Running Stroke Delta
shows that Moneyball was an early finishing blow for our hopes of
finishing really drunk. Wait - I meant, “for our hopes of not
finishing last.” Did you ever see that Tom Hanks movie
it’s really bad so if you haven’t, don’t, but Moneyball was a
lot more like a Moneypit except instead of money, think of
strokes. So they really should have called it Strokepit. Are
you with me? [Continue]
Figure 5. DOTLL4 Adjusted Overall Standings
Adjusted standings Any good statistician will tell you that you
can throw out any samples that are outside the margin of error or
don’t help back up your theory. Since Moneyball was outside
the margin of error (”stroke delta that makes the Ex-Lion Tamers
lose”), rather than dwelling on the overall standings we should focus
on Figure 5. DOTLL4 Adjusted Overall Standings which clearly
show our team finishing in 8th. Great job everybody!!! [
Addendum - tying up loose ends Naturally you’re probably
wondering two things right now. First: is this guy really serious?
Jesus Christ - you’re treating a minigolf “league” like a management
seminar. Did the windmill chop the heads off your puppy? I mean,
chill out already - it’s just minigolf! Second: how would the Ex-Lion
Tamers have stacked up against the other DOTL leagues? I’ll address
these questions in turn.
First, Is this guy serious? Of course. The fact that you’re
even asking just shows that you aren’t Ex-Lion Tamer material. “It’s
just minigolf”? I weep for your children.
Second, How would the Ex-Lion Tamers have stacked up against the
other DOTL leagues? I’m very glad you asked!
In league 1, the Ex-Lion Tamers’ (uncorrected) 899 total score would
have pushed the 12th placed
with 905 points to 13th, securing our spot in the top 40th percentile
of 20 teams.
Had the Ex-Lion Tamers played the 15 teams of league 2, we would have
dominated and been solid playoff material. League 2’s 5th place
Sized Putters would have been shoved to 6th and we would have
helped push their 15th placed
Team with a Putting Problem, who racked up an embarrassing 1051
points, into a more accurate 278th.
How about league 3? That was definitely more competitive, but again,
we would have come out on top! Of someone other than no one, that is.
Our score would have put us in the top 10th percentile with a 30 point
margin above their
and
placed teams.
Summary Drinks on the Links is tons of fun, run by really cool
people, and conveniently finishes in time for the Peso’s happy hour
where nachos are half off. You should
